dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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