I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
