WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We have started to decorate penises.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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