how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
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