the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
