we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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