omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Even my vagina gasped.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
