You're completely useless in the revolution.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
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