I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
