I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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