Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I think people are normalizing furries
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
