question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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