I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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