it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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