The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
