if you like me you must not know who I am
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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