This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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