I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
