it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
