I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
