I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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