You work out of a Hotel?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
