I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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