apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
