I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize