We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
