They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
