There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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