a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
