East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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