I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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