So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
