can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
