On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
