her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
