Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
