Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
