i just had sex bonerless
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
