i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
