Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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