The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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