I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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