it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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