My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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