Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
