she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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