it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
