I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Found the puke drawer
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Couch. On fire.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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