party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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