fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
