Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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