I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
