I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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