im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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