I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
