Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Randomize
