did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
