Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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