no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
