Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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