Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
