it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
